my friends and i were talking about the feeling you get when you’re about to see a close friend after a long time of separation and you think something’s gonna be awkward because you worry that they might have changed. i get that feeling now that i’m home with my old friends except i’m not worried that they’ve changed; i’m worried that i’m not the same anymore and that they’ll be coming back to a Lori who isn’t the same as the one they left. I can’t even describe myself anymore. I don’t know who I am or what I like or what is even important to me. Life is just a blur of days, some a little different than the others. But what makes them constitute your life? Nothing special enough is going on to call what I’m living a “life”. It’s just so rigid and uncomfortable and disappointing. Ugh. This is a waste.
i have a job interview at A&F today which I have a lot of mixed feelings about. I’m nervous because I don’t think I fit the profile and I’m also mad because I don’t think I fit the profile. I keep asking myself “Why would you wanna work at a place like Abercrombie if you feel like you wont fit in?” but the only other job offer I’ve gotten is at A.C. Moore, which would probably be way more boring and trashy. hmf, idk. Now I gotta figure out what to wear -__-